Upon Further Review

An Open Letter to The Minnesota Timberwolves

Dear Minnesota Timberwolves Franchise and (ex)General Manager David Kahn,

Thank you, thank you thank you!!!! It is because of you and your wonderful franchise that I have stepped back from one of those dangerous cliffs that overlook the sea and when you look down you see a myriad of jagged rocks being pounded on by waves and know that it will be over very soon. But because of you, I stepped back from those rocks and I ran back into the warm embrace of my first love. And it is all because of you. Thank you. 

See, it was the summer of 2009 and the Golden State Warriors had just completed a 29-53 campaign. The Warriors at this time were only two years removed from the “WE BELIEVE” season and a year removed from a 48-34 record. The Warriors, under Don “I’ve Packed My Bags For Hawaii But Not Before I Get All Of My Money” Nelson, seemed like they were headed in the right direction for the first time in a couple decades. But, like most franchises that have shoddy owners and no stability, this ship was bound to run aground. And it did. 

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Sweepo De Mayo

I am five tacos, one tamale, four Dos Equis, and a Backwoods deep, so the belly is full and the mind is flowing, which means lets right some news and notes on this day where our neighbors down south told the French and Napoleon III to go shove it and take their fine wines with them back across the pond. So before I watch Don Draper and company try to find their souls, if they still have one, while downing office drinks, smoking their left lung away, and fighting office politics, I will throw out some random thoughts. 

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Disabling LA

In two days LA saw two injuries that could have franchise changing implications for years to come. But which team, the Lakers or Dodgers, will suffer the most?

Have two sports franchises ever had two injuries on back to back days that made their fan bases head straight to the bar to get help from the local psychologist-alcohol. I saw people the last couple of days on the streets of LA kind of muttering to themselves in shock. I heard conversations in hushed tones about the unfortunate turn of events that has hit LA like a tornado. Even Schleprock didn’t have this big of a rain cloud hanging over him like the LA fans. 

Two teams coming into their respective seasons with the highest of expectations and championship aspirations have fallen on hard times. Laker fans have watched a team that was suppose to handily win the West flounder from the start, age worse than Bruce Jenner, sat through two bad coaching hires, have watched inconsistent play, and have been chain smoking in nervous anticipation of what Dwight Howard will do in the offseason. 

It is early on for the Dodgers to totally start panicking, but when your 147 million dollar investment and a key piece to a weak rotation gets hurt in his second start and is out for an indeterminate amount of time then it might be time to start picking up that nervous smokers habit. This s a Dodgers team trying to not only make a splash, but they are trying to start a dynasty and to do that you have to have your big payouts pay off. So far the results have been mixed and this latest setback will not help the new regime in terms of spending money, trading assets, or making baseball smart moves. 

It looks somewhat bleak for both franchises, but the question is who has it worse and who can recover from this quicker? The answer is pretty simple. 

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A Tale of Two Pitchers

The unexpected journey’s of Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito. 

It is so completely stunning and head shaking that I don’t even know if I can even believe what I am seeing right now. Barry Zito is out pitching Tim Lincecum, making Giant fans(including and especially myself) eat not only the crow, but the crows poop too. 

Two years ago if I said guess the Giants pitcher who was a postseason savior, dominated the playoffs, and came into the 2013 season with two lights out performances that have run his scoreless streak to 14 innings to start the season and the Giants have won his last 16 outings when he has taken the mound, and he personally has won 11 straight games himself, the answer would most likely be Tim Lincecum. The answer you would definitely not say is Barry Zito. 

We all are choking on crow right now. 

Yep, Barry Zito is having a resurgence of epic proportions and it coincides very well, and very disturbingly, with the demise of Tim Lincecum in a very Freaky Friday sort of way. And in their very final seasons of their contracts with the Giants have caused more questions about their futures than answers. 

We are only two years removed from Tim Lincecum lighting up the Bay Area with electric pitching, mega strike out numbers, and being the toast of the town. He came in and made everyone forget about Barry Bonds and he definitely made the 7 year 126 million dollar contract of Barry Zito look even worse because of how well he pitched in back to back CY Young years. 

And then last year happened. 

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Where Have You Gone Jackie Robinson

Passing the Buck

I have to admit that I am somewhat worried about the state of college athletics. It seems we can’t get through a week without the institution we cheer for takes a hit ever week. Whether it is coaches acting badly, lack of institutional control, or a scandal being unveiled; it seems like college sports needs to hit the reset button and start over again. 

The NCAA needs to remake its laws and bylaws and clean house with just about everyone that has some type of control. The whole place has become a mess that has ensnared kids into a huge money grab, where the only laws and rules being enforced upon the students that make a lot of people a lot of money. It is like we are allowing kids to become the foot soldiers to pedal the drugs of gangs that disguise themselves as white collar, polished, working for the kids type people. 

The NCAA has become the Wild West or even worse it has become Washington DC. Where people have special interest groups in their pockets, pulling their strings, and are purposefully overlooking or sweeping under the rug huge problems that are destroying the credibility of the sport. And it continues to happen because nobody is calling them out for it and making them pay the price, which is their jobs and their reputation. But we don’t because we love college athletics so much and figure we can’t do anything about it that we just hope that someone within the ranks steps up and finally changes the sport. 

That won’t happen. 

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The Midweek Report

The Walking Dead Season Finale, the last Raw before Wrestlemania, and Battle for LA—College Hoops Edition. Ready?

Let’s start by…

TALKING DEAD

Never has a Governor scared and ruined more people than when Arnold Schwarznegger took office of an actual American state in California. Arnold’s election was actually the fault of the people. The people that inhabit the little town of Woodbury, a small slice of normalcy that inside its heavily guarded walls was the spitting image of Mayberry. Well those people did not elect that Governor aka Philip Blake, but rather he was the Rick Grimes of their village; a man that took up the task of leading the people into an apocalyptic world where the fight against zombies (Walkers) and their known way of life is constantly on the brink. 

Only the Governor is the bizarro world’s answer to Rick Grimes. A man that wears a mask of deception that is perfectly symbolized with his eye patch that was courtesy of the person who immediately saw through the Governor’s cool, confident, and very calculating city in Michonne. The Governor was always hell bent on destruction. This is a world where he gained power and strength through his own personal loss, the death of his family. That pain and anger has now turned into vengeance and destruction of anybody who crosses his path whether it be is trusted confidant Miles, citizens of Woodbury, or Michonne; the Governor has traded in empathy and logic for maniacal force and power. 

In other words he is a great character. Especially in a show that lost a tremendous foe for Rick and the rest of the troops of the now defunct prison brigade when Rick’s friend and enemy Shane was killed off. But where Shane left, the Governor picks up in a big way. 

The greatness of The Walking Dead is not in Zombies or the threat of Zombies, it is in the deep seeded fears, paranoia, and lack of institutional control when everything goes to complete shit. This show is nothing more than a good showing of man versus man and man versus self. That is the critical component that The Walking Dead has and will continue to enjoy because not only does the zombie component ramp up the intensity and heart pounding “what is around that corner” element, but the unknown of what lies ahead mixed with a heavy dose of how people interact when the normalcy and repetitiveness of life is voided and people must now choose who to trust, who to follow, and how to survive.

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If This Is Spring Break….

Count Me Out. 

The Absurdity of Spring Breakers.

I was 14 years old when I saw the movie Kids, written by Spring Breakers Writer/Director Harmony Korine, a movie that was so raw and disturbing it gave me nightmares. If you were a parent and you wanted to scare your kids straight from sex and drugs you just showed them a copy of Kids. 

As a suburban kid, tightly wrapped up in my cocoon, I never ever had experienced a movie quite like Kids before in my life. It was everything that parents wanted to hide and that older, less naive kids than myself knew was going on in the world. It scared the shit out of me. To know that their were these young adults that didn’t live for the future, but lived for the moment and not in a carpe diem type way, but in a “let’s get baked and just go out and have fun type of way. It was a Kerouacian vision of life from those who were not sufficiently happy or enamored with all that life had to offer.

It was a beautiful, intelligent movie about a culture and a segment of the generation that blazed like a meteor across the sky to an uncertain place in space to disappear from sight. No repercussions, no consequences, no remorse; only a self-indulgent, pleasure seeking, in the moment course of action that entangles a multitude of lives. 

It was beautiful. 

And everything that Kids was, Spring Breakers is not. 

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